Just when we thought the neighborhood was safe, when we thought we could let our children roam free and enjoy their adolescence, when we thought it was fine to water them before a long weekend in California, expecting to see their bright shining leaves when we returned Tuesday morning...this is when disaster struck. Hugo Chavocado, it appears, has been kidnapped.
How, you ask? Why? Who could do anything so HEINOUSLY evil? I think both you and I know the answer to that question. Scroll down this page and you'll see him smiling innocently into the camera as he so easily and quickly abandons his child for "law school".
And to make matters worse, I fear that Hugo's dead-beat dad did not break into the building on his own. No, he surely had help. I can thus no longer trust those whose unquestioned support I so willingly relied on. Even YOU, dear reader, are on my list of suspicious characters.
If anyone has information as to the whereabouts or condition of poor little Hugo Chavocado, please contact me immediately. This injustice must be rectified. I shall not stand and watch our country fall by the wayside as hateful former officemates prowl about in the shadows snatching innocent avocados from their warm beds. We must stand up as a people (and plants) and say NO MORE!
Updates to follow.
Joseph, I hate you.
