jailbreak

I'm free. I broke out of jail. I could regale you with tales of how I got out, but I don't think I will. If you've ever seen The Great Escape, well, it was a lot like that. A big tunnel. Frequent trips to the yard to drop dirt out of your pant leg. Unsuspecting Nazi guards who are oddly relaxed for a maximum security prison. A kickass Sousa-style march theme song playing constantly in the background. A chase scene involved motorcycles with sidecars. To make a long story short, I got out. Let's just leave it at that.

Hugo is big. Last week's pictures capture the gist of what's happening, but for those of you who don't understand, I'll explain it in more detail. Hugo is growing UP at an alarming pace. In the time it takes you or me to go grocery shopping or, say, eat an avocado, Hugo could sprout an inch. He usually limits himself to smaller spurts, though. He doesn't want to embarrass the other plants around. Quite the considerable piece of foliage.

On that note, yes, it is now appropriate to refer to Hugo as foliage. He's ever a borderline shrubbery. I'm beaming with pride.

Also some big improvements in the useless technology department: due to recent concerns about the temperature in the office, thermometers have been obtained. When growing an avocado tree, it's very important to know the temperature. In case, you know, it's too cold for the plant to grow. To our detractors who point out that (a) we don't even know what constitutes "too cold" for a tree and (b) there's nothing we could do about the temperature were it deemed too cold, I say poo poo. Get your own blog.

As promised, a shout out to the pub trivia team (every Thursday in jail is quiz night. Wednesdays are Matlock reruns.) that lovingly dedicated its team name to Hugo. Despite the Chavocados' crushing defeat, they learned quite a bit and surprised themselves at how much they knew about Tom Cruise.

Hugo is lounging by the window in the adjoining office. Maybe office services will get off their ass and give him a proper nameplate. Or maybe that's a project for a summer associate.

Since my whereabouts have now been revealed, I'll probably have to flee again. I'll probably make a good run but I'll run too slow. Odds are I'll be back in prison next week.