Education a la avocado

It has come to my attention that many of you are questioning our avocado growing method, particularly the somewhat gruesome practice of impaling Hugo with sharp wooden toothpicks. The toothpicks are not just my own sick invention to torture a helpless avocado pit. OH NO. They're so much more. By suspending the avocado slightly above the water, you allow it both exposure to air and a constant water supply. Now, it was unclear as to which end should be up and which should be down. We received conflicting advice on several accounts, which resulted in a shifting of the toothpicks from one end to the other (a few times). As a result, Hugo has three open toothpick wounds on his water end. Having to move the toothpicks was a difficult and emotional process. We gave him some whiskey and a rag to bite on. Unfortunately the field of anesthesia has yet to expand to avocados.

This harrowing experience is what makes his new found sprouting stem such a miracle! Our little Hugo pulled through his difficult infant hood, and is growing faster than you can say Venezuelan guacamole. Now, once his "stem" reaches six inches, we will be forced to trim it back to three. Hugo does not know about this, and we would appreciate if our readers would be kind enough not to tell him. After the toothpick incident(s), he is really going to resist any attempt to trim his manhood. However, it is for the best and we're sure that after just a few years of expensive therapy, he will come to understand.

Here is the most helpful website we've found thus far: http://forums.gardenweb.com/forums/load/teach/msg121755005890.html

More pictures to come, of course...