Quarantine

Apologies for the delay in reporting to you, the faithful reader, on the progress of Hugo, our not-quite-so-little avocado plant. I was unfortunately stricken with a bout of the old plague (the bubonic variety, I believe) for the past few days and, although I perhaps could have mustered up the strength to come into work, I certainly didn't want to put Hugo in any danger. Young'ns are susceptible to a whole range of ailments and airborne pathogens, and with me sneezing all around Hugo he almost certainly would have taken ill and died. Such are the responsibilities of being a parental figure. You have to place the interests of the avocado plants around you above your own personal wants and needs. You wouldn't know anything about that, though, because you're not entrusted with the care of a beautiful baby avocado. So get off your high horse. And stop telling me how to raise my child. Who are you to say I can't hit him?* He's gotta learn some respect. If there's one thing my parents ever did right when I was a child...

Now that I've put you in your place, I will report to you on Hugo. When I last laid eyes on him (Monday), his stem was shorter than it is now. I deduce that it has grown in the last 2 days. Just an educated guess. Let's call it an assumption. Or, dare I say, a hypothesis. The stem, still fuzzy as ever, is almost TOUCHING the bottom of the plastic cup. Kelly and I have been discussing moving Hugo from his basinet into a larger, full-size crib. Truly a huge step in the life of this little plant.

Westlaw, the self-proclaimed "Industry Leader in Legal Research," has thoughtfully donated to me a large, clear plastic water bottle which we think will serve as Hugo's next pad. For more information on our sponsor's services, visit www.westlaw.com. (For all interested parties, the Medical Litigator feature is now up and running. How very exciting!) Westlaw will, unbeknownst to itself, continue to be our sponsor (i.e., "Hugo Chavocado, powered by Westlaw") until we figure out a way to scratch off the Westlaw logo from plastic bottle. Any other interested sponsors should contact us by posting a comment on this blog. We accept payment in the form of cookies.

We will report soon on the moving of Hugo from the free-agent plastic cup to the tall, clear plastic brought-to-you-by-Westlaw-the-Industry-Leader-in-Legal-Research bottle.



*For the record, I have never hit Hugo.**



** You can't prove anything. Are you gonna take the word of a plant over my own?