AWOL

Greetings to you, the faithful reader. Hugo Chavocado has gone AWOL. Actually, we know exactly where he is, and we gave him permission to go. I just like that acronym. Basically, he's left our cozy little officle in search of warmer climes and sunnier environs. Somewhat worried about his lack of exposure to "real" sunlight, Hugo once again discussed the options with us last week. He did not feel that the close proximity to my computer screen last week (when he was shadowing me in my paralegal duties, if you'll recall) was providing him with a sufficient growing environment. And since none of you buttheads donated a plant lamp (Hugo was quite nonplussed, to say the least, at the deafening silence from his so-called "friends") or any cash for the procurement thereof of such a lamp, Hugo was left in the dark (no pun intended) on this one. He decided to go upstairs, "closer to the sun," as one colleague of mine explained to console me, for some better sprouting opportunities. I accompanied him on the fateful elevator trip on Friday evening (his first ever!) and he basked in the warm glow of the sun all weekend (no pun intended).

So instead of AWOL, Hugo has really gone UPSTAIRS. Try and figure that one out.

Hugo would also like to ask President Bush not to venture any closer to his country than Guatemala. In his most recent public statement on Bush's Latin American trip, Hugo remarked, "We have avocados, and we're not afraid to use them to make guacamole and not share ANY with the American entourage." He later added, "And we'll charge them for chips and salsa."

Keep the comments, support, and cash coming. Especially the larger bills.